ceilidh_chaos

Call for Volunteers

2008-05-01T20:37:46Z

Hey you know you want to spend some time helping
out your local Pagan 501c3! We put on Berkeley's
Pagan Festival, which this year will be on May
10th. And if you haven't been, it's not to be
missed! Let us know what you are passionate
about and we'll find a way for you to lend a
hand. You can help the day of or start helping
us prepare right away. We've been working since
last year!

Volunteers Needed For:

**Pre-Event**
Donation Gathering & other preparation (Like Flyering, etc)
Contact us Right away if you are interested, at www.thepaganalliance.org

**Day Of Festival**

Security and First Aid
Set up (not all), Take down, crowd control,
secure ritual area, help with parade,
surveillance of vendor area, EMT, ask questions,
direct people, secure back stage.

Stage Design and Set-up
Design Stage, Organize and Secure materials,
Secure Volunteers for Set-up and Removal of
stage decorations.

Vendor Coordinator Assistants (2)
Arrive on Site at 7 am. Monitor Load-in to make
sure that vendors set up in correct designated
location.

Green Pavilion
Set-up & Staffing

Info Table
Direct people to appropriate areas and people.
Hand out programs and site maps.

Volunteer Check In
Check in volunteers and hand out instruction
sheets.

Stage Crew
Assist Stage Manager and Assistant Manager.
Check in of performers. Monitor Schedule. Help
performers on and off stage. Communicate with
sound booth. Make sure Green Room has
refreshments.

Art and Craft Pavilion

Help set up or tear down
hang out and help people make art all day
Make sure supplies and donations are secure

Site Set up
Arrive at 6-6:30 am. Set up canopies. Distribute
tables and Chairs. Hang signs and Banners.
Assist Recycling Manager with Trash and
Recycling set-up.

Go For
Make runs for Printing, Ice, supplies, food,
etc? Should have own Vehicle.

Take Down
5:30 pm to 7 pm. Take down canopies, take down
trash and recycling frames, load truck, pick up
street cones, remove signs and parking meter no
parking signs.

Assistant to Ritualist

Assistant to Keeper of the Light

Assistant at Authors Circle

Altar Set up
Main altar set up and take down.

Assistant at Altars

Children's Craft Area Supervisors

Tee shirt sales
Help sell Pagan Alliance Tee shirts

Visit us at www.thepaganalliance.org
or call 877-467-5527

Wedding planning wow

2007-07-16T16:25:04Z

I am hard @ work planning my 10/31/07 wedding. Who would've thought? I need a hand or three getting stuff ready, preparing the house, etc. and if you havent got me your mailing address you better do that.

My Cup Runneth Over

2007-07-01T22:59:53Z

Yes, yes those of you who follow my blogs are used to the neverending lonely-sad-bla bla that is usually in them, but ho look out now dragonrider. My life went through a HUGE shift this midsummer and an old special someone came back into my life and another old friend but now new someone special is making this luscious 3way relationship fabulous! They both moved in with me this week and we are now preparing to take the world by storm! hehehe. Want specifics? call me.

Johanna Coash the Graduate!

2007-06-01T02:04:54Z



"Johanna Coash the Graduate!" on Google Video
This is yon faerie princess at her illustrious graduation from New College. Laugh, Cry, and pay attention. You may want to take notes.

Watch my graduation speech online

2007-05-27T07:18:41Z

yes i know you are all very proud.

Eris loves me this I know, all the chaos tells me so

2007-04-19T08:20:45Z

I wreaked my truck in2 a tree, on way back from hotsprings & eco arts fieldtrip, totally totalled it, i am sore, and in pain, but otherwise ok. am a little doped on vicoden. whoot.

The truck died going down 29 between middletown & calistoga. very steep windy mountain road fyi. hit brakes, no stop AHHHHHH! Traffic stopped for construction & i didnt want to pulverize the man in the small Echo. So i veered off road, trying actually to go up an uphill driveway, with the hope that i would lose momentum and be able to stop safely, and hit an oak tree, narrowly missing a cliff. 3 feet over . Had I gone over that I have my doubts about whether I would not be typing this. Hardcore Reality Check I must say. Time 4 anoter pill and bed. Typing tthis hurts,

Hey I made a cover story in East Bay Express!

2007-04-04T03:37:49Z

http://www.eastbayexpress.com/2007-03-28/news/raising-pagans

First Spiral Scouts meeting

2007-03-19T05:52:01Z

wow. it went great. a photographer came from the east bay express and took a bunch of pics. The spiral scout troop is going to be the cover story of the express 3/28/07. look for it.

6th Annual Pagan Festival 5/12/07 Berkeley, CA

2007-03-07T21:00:45Z

6th Annual Pagan Festival-Berkeley, California-Presented by Pagan Alliance
Saturday, May 12, 2007-10:00 am to 5:30 pm
FREE-All Are Welcome!!!

Theme: Magical Journeys
This year our festival focuses on Children and Young Adults. Our theme represents the many paths we take and the lessons we learn on the way to finding our spirituality.

Honored Keeper of the Light- Patrick Mc Collum, Statewide Wiccan Chaplain for the California Department of Corrections and Author of “A Wiccan Journey” and “Courting The Lady” and Teacher of Witchcraft, Magic, Herb Lore, Pagan history and Pagan Spirituality.

MCs- Shay Black- Irish Singer & Musician and Angelique Heddings-Magical Acts Ritual Theatre and Limerent Arts Theater Company, Artistic Director

Child Sized Procession , Interfaith Ritual by Children & Young Adults, Vendors, Performances, Speakers, Traditional Dance, Music, Altars, Children's Crafts, Druid Story Telling Pavilion, Authors Circle, Info Booths, Food
Stage Performances include:
Women and Song featuring DJ Hamouris - www.ninshibar.com
Ariellah - Goth/Tribal Fusion Belly Dance www.ariellah.com
Shay Black - www.black-brothers.com

Prizes for Best Girl's, Boy's, Woman's and Man's Costumes

Volunteers Wanted for pre Festival and Festival Day
Children and Young Adult volunteers to take an active role in the Interfaith Ritual are especially welcome

Support Your Community
Please bring non-perishable food donations for the Alameda County Community Food Bank http://www.accfb.org/ and Monetary Donations for the Parental Stress Service-A Family Support Agency http://www.familypaths.org/

WHERE:
Civic Center Park -2151 Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Berkeley CA 94704
Downtown Berkeley BART - 1 ½ blocks west to Civic Center Park
Carpooling is Encouraged - Limited Handicap Parking adjacent to Park

To request communication accommodations, such as large print, Braille, or sign language interpreters, please call (877) 467-5527. At least one week's notice will ensure availability.

Info:www.paganfestival.org & www.thepaganalliance.org (510) 872-1188

Nazgul is my bunny!

2007-03-04T09:03:46Z

So much to do

2007-02-27T08:59:23Z

I have to do a million things, but I am tired and just want to sleep. IS it soooo wrong to desire rest when there is so much homework to do? Got one response paper done on homeschooling. My Homeschooling reader is almost finished. I have to get all of the independant study on homschool work done by March 9th. That way I can concentrate on my independant study on Spirituality & Education Independant Study. There's my final project: the spiral scouts troop too. That's really taking off. I have bellydance class tomorrow night and a potluck for my eco-arts class afterwards. I'll be home late again *sigh* All i really want is a vacation, a good snuggle and some passionate kisses. not necessarily in that order.

Lookeee I'm in the Newspaper

2006-10-27T19:07:00Z

From eastbayexpress.com
Originally published by East Bay Express 2006-10-25
©2005 New Times, Inc. All rights reserved.

A Spell on You
It's their New Year, and they're not curling up with books by Dr. Phil.
By Chris Ulbrich

Who / What:
Wicca

How can you tell if your neighbor is a witch? It's actually easier to tell if she's not. Just check her bookshelves. If she doesn't have anything more than a few Robert Parker mysteries, a Dr. Phil Life Strategies workbook, and a mint-condition hardback of The Bridges of Madison County — she's not.
Because witches read.

"If you were to walk into my house, you would see nineteen bookcases," says Oakland journalist and witch Victoria Slind-Flor. "We are the people of not one book; we are the people of many, many, many books."

Slind-Flor practices the nature-based religion of Wicca, whose new year falls on the day most of us know as Halloween, but which witches call Samhain (pronounced SOW-un). Its most sacred ritual, she says, is the spiral dance, which celebrates the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. "Before we do that we invoke all the ancestors to join us," she says. "It's a sense that those who are no longer with us are with us, and those who are yet to come are here already." In that spirit, Slind-Flor recommends The Pagan Book of Living and Dying (HarperSanFrancisco, $18) by Starhawk, M. Macha NightMare, and the Reclaiming Collective. "This is a book in which a lot of pagans in the Bay Area have written about their own experiences in priestessing death," she says. "It has prayers for people to say or sing when someone is dying. It even has instructions for how to do your own cremation if necessary."

For spellcrafting, Jessica Rabbit, owner of the Sacred Well in Berkeley, turns to Paul Beyerl's Compendium of Herbal Magick (Phoenix, $24.50). "It's everything you want in a witchy book," she says. "It's got an A-to-Z guide of all different plants and herbs and their lore and magical properties, and the elements that they relate to and the planets that they're governed by, and the deities that go along with them."

JoHanna Coash, acquisitions coordinator for the Pagan Alliance in Berkeley, calls Robert Moss' Dreaming True (Pocket, $17.95) an "absolutely fabulous" guide to dream analysis. "You can actually realize that something is going to happen before it happens," she says.

Coash says she's been practicing witchcraft since age eleven, but not as a Wiccan. "I personally fall in several categories," she says. "I'm a pagan. I'm also an Erisian and I'm an animist and I'm a faerie."

Erisian?

"I worship Eris, the goddess of chaos and discord," she says. "Hail Eris."

Don Frew, interfaith representative for the national pagan organization Covenant of the Goddess, is enjoying Lairs of the Hidden Gods (Kurodahan, $20/book), a shivery multivolume collection of Lovecraftian short stories by Japanese authors. But the book that has him scribbling in the margins is Sam Harris's vigorous — and in Frew's opinion blinkered — indictment of religion, The End of Faith (Norton, $13.95). "It's infuriating me," he says. "He'll make statements like, 'All religions have either moderates or extremists.' I'm going, like, 'What's an extremist Taoist?'"

Robin Dolan, a director for Magical Acts Ritual Theater, is neck deep in fairy tales — adapted versions of them comprise her latest play. But she also loves the mix of modern settings and magic in Charles de Lint's urban fantasy novels. Her favorite is Moonheart (Orb, $14.95): "Most of the people in his books are like people I would know: people that are artists or that are struggling but are still trying to find beauty and purpose in their lives."

Her Samhain plans? A small gathering with friends. "We'll probably have a quiet night thinking about our lives," she says. Then, come the first of November, it's back to the grind. After all, witches don't get their new year's day off. And even worshippers of the Goddess have to work for the Man.

THe Hunger is Fast Approaching

2006-10-24T20:48:45Z

The Hunger, Erotic Vampire Club:
Vampire Bunny Bloodbath
http://thehunger.org

Friday, November 3rd, 2006
9:00 pm to 3:00 am

Cat Club at 1190 Folsom St.
San Francisco 94103-3927
DJ's Mitch, Glamtasm, Sparkle, Fuzz the Raven, and
Slaveboy. will spin on 2 Dance Floors.
Industrial, Goth, Darkwave, Glam, Garage Rock, 70's and 80’s
Punk, 80's Remixes, and more

"Bloody" Floor dance performances
Lord of the Fangs will be available for your Fang Creations
Tarot by Amara and Druid Animal Oracles by James Bianchi
Costume Contest
Silent Auction
Ice Play Booth, Fur Rub & Biting Booth that will
put you into erotic sensory overload
Club-wide "Bunny Hop" at Midnight.

21+ with valid ID

Dress code is Vampire, Angelic, Gothic, Fetish,
Bunny attire, or combination of Bunny and Vampire

Proceeds from ‘The Hunger’ will benefit the Pagan
Alliance (www.thepaganalliance.org), a non-profit
organization, producers of the Pagan Festival and Parade held
every May in Berkeley

Yeah, Yeah I know you wanna hear all about Venezuela, but I'm not ready to type that much. It'll be up soon tho, I promise

I got a scholarship to go to Venezuela next month

2006-09-13T20:03:08Z

Dear Friends,

I’ve been given a $1500 scholarship to go on a ten day study tour to Venezuela in October. The topic of the study tour is women & social activism. I have to raise another $1500 in order to go. The program has given me a work study position where they will pay me $10/hour to raise money for my trip. However, I need all the help that I can get to raise more money. Small amounts are a help too! If you can’t donate a large amount, don’t feel like you can’t give at all. Donations of even ten, fifteen or twenty dollars help me out a lot if that is all that you can spare. Please respond to this email with your mailing address if you are able to help.

“In this class/tour we will be introduced to some fundamental issues, concepts, and theories that will support our analysis of gender in Venezuela. Initial readings will offer insight into capitalism, race, colonialism, class, biopolitics, and economics. We will attempt to understand the historical conditions that have made this revolution in Venezuela possible, and to what extent it has been a revolution for women and others.

We will begin with the colonization by Spain, early enclosures, construction of race and sexual identities, capitalism, and the creation of a master race for the spread of global capitalism. Examining Venezuela through its export history (cacao, oil) will help to clarify the current legacy. Many tourists, encountering the poverty and degradation of life in Latin America (in this case, Venezuela) would conclude that this is the result of cultural deficiencies, overpopulation, corruption or protectionism. But in light of the history of the country and its relation to the “first world”, underdevelopment can be understood as a process, according to Escobar.

So, we will attempt to understand such concepts as the State, social Darwinism, and Malthusianism, and how these ideas have become hegemonic. Culture and subjectivity are some ways to resist capitalism, patriarchy, and racism.

Also, we will look at the Constitution, the Women’s Bank, and other articulations of women’s struggles in this particular revolution.”

I will be sending a form for you to make a donation to my trip. Please complete the form and send it along with your check or credit card info as soon as possible. As is says on the form, checks are made out to Global Exchange. Credit card donations are easiest to process. While making the minimum pre-printed donation to my trip you will also receive a membership to Global Exchange, which has many benefits including:

• GX quarterly newsletter and action alerts
• Priority consideration on GX Reality Tours
• Discounts at GX Fair Trade Crafts Centers
• Connections to a large network of activists

If you give $50 or more, you will receive a DVD of the study tour. Please help me out however you can. I am very excited about this once in a lifetime opportunity.

Thank you,
JoHanna Coash

Big Bear Ren Faire (SoCal)

2006-08-24T01:41:22Z

I had a lovely time and made some new friends, large & small. It was a far far drive tho and I have to say that the rim of the world highway is {during daylight at least} one of the scariest drives that I have ever been on in my life. Do try to ignore all the dings and bends in the railing. Oh only a few people have gone off the edge dont ya know dear. And there are all these crazy detours in san bernadino, which made life difficult to say the least. I went through the desert the second weekend, and have a couple captain obvious notes: 1: the desert is HOT & 2: I didnt see a single apple tree in Apple Valley. Weekend 1 was fairely uneventful, except for a very strange dream I had about 2 John White clones from the future coming to hang out with me & keep me company, courtesy of a 45 year old JFW. Kevkah came up from oceanside for weekend 2. Paintballers attacked the faery forest while we were at dinner and the signs for the faire were stolen from around the lake. the fairies stole my keys on sunday night so I'd get a good night sleep before I drove off. Heard a few songs that have been in my head ever since on the way home, one of which inspired me to make my first CD purchase in about 2 years. Happily home & this weekend the Ren Faire is in SF. ISnt that great?

Willits Ren Faire

2006-08-08T22:21:27Z

Had a lovely time, got there very early friday and set up the booth then rested the rest of the day. Crystal Clan , a small faire merchant's hospitality guild, & Danse Macabre were both there and it was nice to have 2 guilds I'm affiliated with at the same show. Was right next to the stage and had a great time listening to the shows, Trey the Juggler was very funny & so was Myth & Magic, and there was an awesome traditional storyteller who told tales Cuhulain and Finn MacCumhal, etc. Managed to make 3 sets with the dead. Goddess bless my good and faithful booth help. "Picked her up at the Evil Minion Market, I did" hehehe. Gigged with the Queen, she came into the booth, and I gave her a pin "Dont wish your enemies misfortune, plan it" Made some new friends, saw plenty of old. Had a lot of crazy dreams while I was there. My snugglebuddy said I yelled out "NO!" quite a bit. Something to do with running away from homicidal bunnies in league with the feds. Very Lucid, I manifested a bitchin sportscar for my get-away. anyway.....

But something must be done about this lack of winsome wenches!! There's a drastic shortage.

Oh oh, I got a shiny too!

Journey into the Heart of Chaos

2006-08-07T22:59:46Z

Journey into the Heart of Chaos

hehehe
So My journey to Duncan Mills for the Art & Wine Festival was nothing if not chaotic. The van broke down as soon as I got there. Met some random people: one wants to take me hunting boar with bow and arrow and the other took me out to dinner and dancing. And she was straight so she wasnt even expecting anything. I had a good time. The back of my booth was next to the back of the wine/beer tent, so I made friends with the boys on the other side of the plastic wall and passed them my pint glass whenever it was empty through the velcro. hehehe. Got home safe after a little bit of getting lost

Papers I received A+'s on this semester, posted by request

2006-08-07T22:58:39Z

JoHanna Coash

Violent Youth

Assignment #2: Bully: A True Story of High School Revenge:

The Implications for Our Society

Within the book, Bully, there are a multitude of events with clear and unsettling implications for the larger middle-class society in the United States. Beyond the actual gruesome and premeditated murder of Bobby Kent, for whom I personally can find not even a drop of pity or sorrow, there is the teen-prostitution ring and its affluent clientele, the complete disregard for the lives of others that was shown throughout the trial process by both the adolescent murderers and their parents, whose only real concern was getting their kids off, not on the violent crime that they had committed, as well as the repulsive corruption and moral depravity of the police who broke up the teen prostitution ring while receiving fellatio from sixteen year-old whores. While the murder itself begs for analysis, I believe it is these other events that have darker and more disturbing consequences for our modern culture.

The most horrifying event, for me, is the teen prostitution ring, led by local Captain-with-no-boat, Tom Hildebrand. Tom Hildebrands customers didnt just want sex, {but}they knew exactly what they wanted. They wanted it very badly. Girls, Not women. Girls. The upper limit was sixteen or seventeen. Some of them asked for fourteen year olds, and one even asked for a nine-year old. And they didnt want slum girls. They wanted nice girls, pretty girls from good neighborhoods girls who could have been their own daughters (Schulze, 11). The social implications of upper-middle class men seeking girls for intercourse that resemble in style, caste and culture their own daughters, are clear indications that these men are fantasizing sexually about their daughters, their daughters young friends, and the young girls waiting at the bus stop on the corner near their homes. After this prostitution ring was busted, whom did these men turn to in order to fulfill their desires for adolescent pussy? Perhaps their own daughters, the daughters of their wives or nieces. Tom Hildebrand has a large clientele. This desire that he was supplying was not some bizarre, unusual or unheard of kink. It was frighteningly common, common enough for Tom Hildebrand to make a living off of it. Common enough that hard-working girls pulled in $3,000 a week, after Tom took his 40%. The desire for nice girls to have intercourse with speaks volumes of these mens desire to have their sexual desires fulfilled within their social class, yet still not by their social equals, women of their same age range. They wanted to be in a position of dominance, control as part of the fulfillment of their sexual appetites. What other kind of interaction can there be between a fourteen year-old prostitute, regardless of what kind of business her father owns, and a 40-year-old john? Another effect that society may face as a result of this prostitution ring is an increased disregard for sexual crimes committed upon youth, if people think youth are complacent victims, especially. It is through the mass media exposure to horror that we become desensitized to it. Within a week, the story had faded from the local news. There were no stories in the newspaper asking, How Could This Happen?This story of arrests in a teenage prostitution {ring} passed in and out of local consciousness as if it were a story about a routine drug bust or a bad accident on the freeway (Schulze, 16). Even this book treats the prostitution as a small side note, just to showcase the immorality of involved females, Ali Willis in particular, but I find it to be the more depraved part of the book. One other long-term effect of this on the local community would be that a large part of this new generation of girls who are now women, mothers who hold no value to their sexual selves, beyond what it can get them, and they will raise their daughters up to hold these values as well. Perhaps without even realizing it.

While the camera hummed in the next room, one of the girls performed fellatio on {Detective} Rupp. She stayed with it for thirty-six seconds the amount of time it took him to climax in her mouth. Then Rupp and Santalucia arrested the girls (Schulze, 15). The police detective was perfectly willing to allow a minor girl to perform fellatio on him, and if he had not been an officer of the law, then this would have been committing a lewd act upon a minor. There are a variety of long and short-term effects to this little microcosm of society as well as to the larger one. The systems allowing the police commit such vile acts and then to return to the police force with no more than a slap on the wrists, after an appeal, is, if not an endorsement, at very least an unacceptable level of tolerance of crimes I believe to be as heinous as the murder itself, if not more so. Another effect for society, exposed to this event via the book, Bully, is yet another clear example of police officers being able to flout the laws of our nation, even those that protect our children from sexual abuse, and still continue at their jobs. How can a citizen have any respect for law enforcement or a system that allows this sort of debasement, even the appearance of anger that was exhibited by the DA etc, in the end, the detectives returned to work. That they are making the streets safe for young people seems somewhat doubtful. This encouragement of lack of trust in law enforcement, in youth especially, leads to a society inclined to vigilante justice, non-reporting of crimes and an increased atmosphere of anti-authority, pro-anarchy among effected young people. This book helps spread the message that the cops are out for themselves, dont trust them. The behavior of two Florida police detectives can have wide-reaching ramifications if it is boldly displayed in media, book and theatre-bound cinema. Perhaps it is this massive exposure to the event that is actually more significant than the event itself.

The murder, the centerpiece of this book, was one of the first of its kind: perpetrated by middle-class suburban white youths with the ruthless efficiency if not the know-how of the worst of urban street gangs. It was a violent, bloody and premeditated affair that swept through the media into the national consciousness, where around the nation hundreds of thousands of teens watched Court TV or the evening news and realized that their tormentors were mortal, that they could be slain with a gun or knife and the bullying could be over forever. Columbine, school shootings in Oregon, Arkansas, Minnesota, Washington, and California, among others, are an example of what is now a growing trend in the sweet, safe communities of middle-class white suburbia. This murder created an idea that violence is an answer, even for suburban kids. It is especially true now that not only was there the murder itself and its immediate media coverage, but now there is also the rather sensationalized book and the movie starring some pretty attractive people playing the parts of some very average looking people. Here we go inundating youth even more with this glorified idea that violence is a sexy and successful way to solve an interpersonal conflict.

The parents and families of the various murder conspirators, the Connellys in particular, were much more concerned with this events impact on their child, rather than on the brutal nature of the crime that they had committed. These parents wanted the kids off. Off. They wanted the kids to walk. They didnt understand why Donnelly {DA} was being such a hard case about it. He kept hearing phrases like just kids, stupid kids, wrong place at the wrong time, running with the wrong crowd. Running with the wrong crowd? They were the wrong crowd (Schulze, 243). These parents completely dismissed the crime itself from their minds and only cared about the ramifications that it had on their children. They did not say this: My child is a murderer. I am sick with shame. When I think about what my child did to another human being, I want to die myself. No one said that. Not one person (Schulze, 304). There are clear long-term and short-term effects of these parents immorality. The long-term effects of this are that these parents are raising other children, in Lisas case, her own child is being raised by her family, a family that lacked the moral fiber to teach her that murder was wrong are going to educate more children in the same way. Im certain that these people are complaining over the dinner table of the unjust incarceration of their child. These complaints finding their way into the thoughts and hearts of the other children who hear it and think wow, killing people isnt wrong, getting arrested is. These are parents that fed into their childrens destructive behavior by giving them whatever they wanted during a tantrum to end it, instead of parenting their child and educating them about consequences. This is going to continue in the parenting of other children, grandchildren that they have. Other consequences that will be faced because of these parents complete disregard for the crime itself include that these young murderers will be released into homes that found their sentence not their crime objectionable. Their own new awareness of freedom will be built around these ideas and it is not unlikely to me that they may see the flaws in their murder as their openness to discuss it and how they went about it, rather than that murder in and of itself is wrong. The sentiments made by these parents are echoed in the mouths of the parents of school-shooters around the country, well except for the ones who were shot before the rampage. This idea of non-responsibility starts in these places and emerges into our collective consciousness as if by magic, when we watch on the evening news as Ali Willis stepfather {says}, She was a dumb kid who was in the wrong place at the wrong time (Schulze, 304). It is through our actions as individuals that we influence the greater society and with mass media actively broadcasting our selfish visions of reality to millions of others, those ideas are integrated and absorbed into developing schemas in children plunked in front of the TV, everywhere.

The book, Bully, disgusts me in more ways than I can name. I can not find anything beyond revulsion, especially for an author that sexualizes and then reviles the sexualized little girls. The book is almost its own event. A sensationalized true story out to shock and horrify. Well it certainly succeeds in my case, more at its treatment of the material than anything else.

the second is not the final version:

JoHanna Coash

Violent Youth

Interpersonal Neurobiology & Violent Youth

The link between the parenting of infants and small children and later behavioral problems has always been very clear to me, but the direct link to parenting and brain development and childhood/adolescent violent behaviors has never been so clearly delineated as in the material that has been covered in this course. Neglect and traumas effects on the developing brain of a child can lead to lifelong issues. I have developed much clearer ideas about these causal factors and their heterogenous results, that are now an integral part of my personal child-rearing philosophy.

Early abuse and violence leaves a lasting impact on children. Children who {have} been the childhood victims of neglect went on to have 50 percent more arrests for violent crimes than a comparison group, while those who suffered physical abuse, the rate of violent crimes was double that of the comparison group.[i] Prior to this course I would have thought that these children were modeling the behaviors that they had seen as children, but now there is a strong link between these early abuses and the childrens early brain development; this early abuse,during crucial developmental periods, basically wires the childrens synapses to behave/react violently. We know {violent abuse such as shaking a baby} can lead to laceration of the white nerve fibers that link the prefrontal cortex to deeper brain structures like the amygdale, which are involved in the generation of aggressive impulses while the prefrontal lobes inhibit those impulses.[ii] These unfit parents, who likely had unfit parents themselves, are actually physically damaging their childrens brains at a cellular level. That this was possible had not occurred to me before. This damage is permanent and nearly irrepairable. Childrens minds are delicate and developing in their first few years of life. The experience of violence in the first three years of life profoundly alters the course of brain development. Once certain neurones (brain-cells) become oversensitized as a result of persistent or intense emotional trauma, they can more easily be reactivated by similar, but less threatening provocationsThe brain of the maltreated child has been conditioned to be hypervigilant.[iii] It is likely through this adapted hyper-vigilance that the child managed to survive in a dangerous and/or neglectful home. Hyper-vigilance, however, is exceedingly difficult for many adults to cope with, as I will discuss later.

While virtually all violent people were once abused children, only some abused children become violent. Therefore, child abuse is a necessary, but not sufficient cause for violence. Depending on the degree, extensiveness, and age of onset of child abuse, there are different outcomes. The earlier the abuse occurs, the more intense it is, and the more sustained and repeated over time, the worse the effects are and the more likelihood there is of a resulting violent pathology. When they grow up and become parents, many who were abused children repeat the abuse on their own innocent offspring.[iv] Therefore perpetuating the cycle.

I am close friends with more than a dozen victims of abuse, physical, sexual and emotional, as well as various degrees of neglect. They all seem to manifest their issues from the abuse in very different ways. Now that I can link these manifestations to their brain functions, I see some patterns that had previously gotten past me. Many abused children grow up to manifest their damage through psychosomatic illnesses, depression, self-destructive addictions, and becoming submissive, masochistic relationships with abusive partners.[v] I can not express how often I have struggled with a survivor of extreme abuse and the drug//alcohol problems that they create in order to cope with themselves and their brains. My on-again, off-again male lover has severe psychological issues: antisocial and narcissistic personality disorders as well as an intense anxiety problem. Though I always strive to be a healing and supportive influence, I never quite understood why these problems had manifested. I learned that he had been severely neglected by his mother after the divorce of his parents and was witness to extreme violence between his parents prior to the divorce. Any child exposed to chronic intrafamilial violence will develop a persisting fear responseUnfortunately the emotional emptiness resulting from neglect can only be filled by the temporary pleasure that an exogenous euphoriant (eg. heroin, cocaine {or methamphetamines}) can provide. Similarly, a young man {like my lover} may find that the only escape from persisting fear response is with alcohol.[vi] Literally, his brain has been wired to be in a constant state of stress and anxiety, which on occasion results in violence. He is atypical, however, because most of his response to his abuse is disassociation, which according to the readings tends to be a more feminine response.[vii]

All of these issues go back to the main point of brain development. The development of the brain is based on the experiences of the young child. Mental connections and schemata are created via the experiences of the child during critical developmental periods. Disruptions of experience-dependant neuro-chemical signals may lead to major abnormalities or deficits in neurodevelopment -- some of which may not be reversibleThe clear implication of the neurophysical chain of development is that, again, early life experiences have much more relative importance in organizing the mature brain. Experiences that could be tolerated by a 12-year-old child can literally destroy an infant (eg., being untouched for 2 weeks).[viii] It is via experience as a child that we create our ideas of the world. If our family is violent, destructive and unsafe, our brain wires itself to create a worldview that society is violent and unsafe, therefore we must respond to any perceived threats on our person with violence and/or fear. Neglect also can render the brain incapable of remorse or compassion. If children are not exposed to compassionate, loving care, then they have no concept of how to care about others.

The Orbitofrontal Cortex is one of the most important parts of the brain, in relation to the topic of violence among youth. It is the part of the brain that allows for the regulation of violent impulses. The orbitofrontal regions are not functional at birth, but as a result of attachment experiences this system begins to mature in the last quarter of the first year, the same time that internal working models of attachment are first measured.[ix] If there have not been healthy experiences with loving and attentive caregivers that result in a securely attached child, the orbitofrontal cortex is unable to properly regulate aggressive urges, to varying degrees. Hostile mothers create more children with insecure or disorganized attachments that likely will react in a hostile, violent or aggressive manner to threats, real or imagined. Their brains have been wired so that the orbitofrontal cortex is strained or unable to mediate the primitive {amygdala} responses of the mind. There is agreement that the enduring effects of early abuse are specifically reflected in the impaired processing of both social and bodily informationEarly trauma alters the development of the right brain, the hemisphere that is dominant for the unconscious processing of socioemotional information, the regulation of bodily states, the capacity to cope with emotional stress and the corporeal and emotional self.[x] Children who have been abused are literally broken by their abusers. It is only through the supportive care of another adult that they can manage to overcome this early wiring of the brain. It is the brain and its development that decides how children will respond to stressful stimulus.

I have to admit that I was fairly well rounded prior to this. I have taken a lot of courses on child development, so I knew about brain development, schemas, synapses and neurons. I knew that old cliché that children learn what they live. However, I did not link the development of those schemas with things like my lovers perception that all women can not be trusted, because his mother couldnt be. I did not understand that the experiences of his toddler-self define the way that his now mature brain understands and organizes his reality. His narcissistic personality, I-dont-need-anyone-else, after reading this material, was clearly his brain trying to adapt to the fact that outside sources of assistance were not reliable and that he needed to be able to take care of himself. I also have borderline narcissistic qualities, and a very ingrained fear of being taken over. My mother wanted a compliant child that fit in with her needs, as it became clear that I was not one, she liked parenting me less and less. Still, she attempts to take over my life and relive her own youth through me, on a fairly regular basis. I see that I am insecure-ambivalently attached. Through years of controlling behaviors and several experiences with being disowned, I have learned that my inconsistently available mother is not to be trusted or relied upon. I have created a world-view that authority figures in general can not be relied upon to do whats best for us, but will rather do what is best for themselves. Had I been reared in a different neighborhood, perhaps I would have responded to my disdain for the system by running drugs, carrying a gun or committing acts of violence or vandalism. Oh, wait a second, I did do several of theses things. In environments where I can calmly problem-solve, non-violent resolution is easy, but under pressure, when there is any kind of yelling involved for example, or under the influence of hard liquor, I have gotten into my share of violent interactions. Children can overcome the dysfunctional wiring of their brains to be productive and healthy adults. It takes a lot of therapy, and emotional support, however, which not all have access to.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[i] Daniel Goleman, Early Violence Leaves Its Mark on the Brain, New York Times, 3 October 1995: C1.

[ii] Ibid.

[iii] Robin Grille, Parenting for A Peaceful World., Zeanagh & Scheeringa (1997)

[iv] Mitch Hall, The Plague of Violence, 1st ed. (Sausalito: Checkmate Press, 2002), 10.

[v] Mitch Hall, 10-11.

[vi] Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. Incubated in Terror: Neurodevelopmental factors in the Cycle of Violence www.ChildTrauma.org The Child Trauma Academy.

[vii] Ibid.

[viii] Ibid.

[ix] Allan Schore Early Relational Trauma, Disorganized Attachment and the Predisposition to Violence Healing Trauma, 120-121

[x] Allan Schore, 113.

Cental Coast Ren Faire

2006-08-07T22:56:29Z

I Had a great time, such a great mix of faire folk from northern & southern faires.
Was very concerned about the warnings about ticks, rattlesnakes & mountain lions, but didnt have an encounter with any of them.
tent city was separated from the faire site by a babbling brook and a wee foot bridge. So sweet!
This one is so one my schedule for next year!

My Insane Schedule

2006-08-07T22:21:06Z

this weekend: Duncan Mills Art & Wine Fest
http://www.winecountryfestivals.com/duncansmillsfestival.html
next weekend FAERIEWORLDS July 29th & 30th
The magic of the Faerieworlds Festival returns to the Pacific Northwest for a weekend of extraordinary live music, world-renowned art, elaborate multimedia and stunning live performances at the Secret House Winery in Veneta, OR.
http://www.faerieworlds.com/
then Aug 5,6 Willits celtic Faire
http://www.rustyswordproductions.com/willits_ren_faire.htm
THen dwn to Casa de fruta for Workshops for Northern
THen Off to SoCal, the mountains above LA actually, for Big Bear Ren Faire
http://www.bigbearcityrenaissancefaire.com/
THen I'll be back in town again for the weekend for the Golden Gate Ren Faire
http://www.sffaire.com/
then I have Labor DAY Weekend off before the Start of Northern http://www.norcalrenfaire.com/participation.htm
which I'm going to do for the run (Sept 9-Oct 15) except for the Ojai Pirate Festival (Sept 23,24) & Las Vegas Ren Faire (Oct 14,15). Ha! Next come several weeks of Ren Faires: it's Folsom, Escondido (2 weekends), Kearney Park and then Dickens Christmas faire
My wanderlust is so pleased.

THis of course does not take into account my office job.

Fair Oaks Tudor Fayre

2006-06-29T19:42:55Z

it was hot, but fun.

Lived on wild berry sorbet

got a new favor in pewter: "Nymphomaniac, Polyamourous, ...Still Wont Sleep With You" Isnt that just perfect?

Passed out super early on saturday night, the heat just knocked me out! 105 on saturday & 103 on sunday. Yikes.

Worked for Heather
www.secondcityarts.com

Here's me front row @ the wet tee contest

Off 2 Valhalla in a Coupla Daze

2006-06-29T19:39:43Z

So several years ago, 5 in fact, John White and I were living in San Mateo with Kait (aka Steven now deceased), and he had a job doing security up at the ren faire in S. Lake Tahoe, but we had no car, no way to get there. So we called and called people. Chris, John's friend from Stanford, drove us + gear to People's Park in Berkeley, where we were picked up by Tabitha & Jesse and got back up to Fairfield, just in time to get Jesse to his court date. Tabitha, bless her little heart, got us as far as Vacahell, where we then were stuck for a bit. My parents refused the use of any of their spare vehicles {I would've luved to use the motorhome!!!}. Finally we convinced our drummin' hippie friend Rob to take us up there in his jeep. It overheated outside of Sac, and Rob genius that he is, added cold water to the overheating radiator, it sprayed like a geiser of scalding water, and guess whow as sitting in the back of the Jeep? well, me of course, and guess whose 6th sense told him to walk the dog a ways down the road? oh Mr. White, of course. Did I mention Chronic? He was a fabulous orange pit. so cute, now deceased too, actually. So I screamed "exquisitely" as it was termed by someone with a keen ear for pain {I'm sure you can guess who}. And I have a scar still underneath my egyptian wings on my back.

This year I'm off to Valhalla again, after a long hiatus. I've been missing Faire, missing the happy, freespirited grrl that I am when I am there, missing the times I've had. And again this year, I dont have a ride. *sigh* I'm hoping that getting up there wont involve so much physical pain. It's the first time I've gone to this particular faire without a bf in my tent. For years it was Greg, then John.

Ooo, I'm an independant one aren't I? *sigh* what if I admitted I'd much rather have someone, much rather spend Faire, breastfeeding than drinking? Sleepless and rumpled for all the good reasons. hmmmmm........

So anyway, I'll be dansing w/ the Macabre. And I hope to have a good thyme. I'm taking my hammock & some good books and I plan to hang it between some trees and get some pleasure reading in. Maybe even do some studying for my falconry exam.....

LJ: Here I come

2006-06-29T19:38:25Z

"Changeling" by Leah Bodine Drake

I am out on the wind
In the wild, black night;
On the wings of the owl
I take my flight,

On the ghostly wings of the great white owl;
And whether the night be fair or foul,
Or the moon be up or the thunder growl,

Happy I be,
Happy I be

When the changeling blood runs green in me!

When meek folk sleep
In their dull, soft beds,
I creep over roots
That the weasel treads,

Where the squat green lamps of the toadstools glow -
And only the fox knows the ways I go,
And nobody knows the things I know ....

Wise I be,
Wise I be

When the changeling blood runs green in me!

O Mother, slumber
And do not wake! ...
Thin voices called
From the rain-wet brake,

And the child you cradled against your breast
Is out in the night on the black wind's crest,
For only the wild can give me rest ....

Sad I be,
Sad I be

When the changeling blood runs green in me.